Hopeful

I am 14 hours away from hearing another report on our embies. I am soooo anxoius. I want to know how they are doing. Are they growing and splitting? Is there any fragmentation? I am willing them to be perfect.

Each one of them has their DNA already, their charateristics already made up. It's amazing to think about them. I didn't think I could be so attached to these little embryos. They are a part of Aaron and I. They have come together and they have fertilized. That's the coolest thing in the world.

Will they have Aaron's beautiful eyes? He has the best eyes ever.

I am not unrealistic, I know not all of them will make it and not all of them will be transferred. I know there is a chance that I may not end up pregnant, but I am going to stay positive. I have hope. I have hope that Dr. A and his team will choose 2 perfect little embies to transfer tomorrow or Sunday. I have hope they will "stick" and on they will be born into a family who will do nothing but love and adore them.

This baby journey has not been easy, it's been down right hard and painful. I hate being jealous of every pregnancy annoucement. I don't like being the bitter person I have become. I want to be happy when friends and family announce they are pregnant. I don't want to think "Why isn't that me?"

Now that we have finally moved to IVF, I feel hopeful again. I feel like this is our path and it's going to lead to the path of parenthood. Please God don't let me be wrong.

I will be a great mom.


"Someday we will look at our baby and know it will be worth it. If it was easy, we would not have had our baby, the baby we were meant to have."