Injectables + IUI

My first injectable cycle was February 08. I was excited to move on to this, we will create more follicles and I had been on Metformin for several months so this had to work. It all was finally at the point where we were going to have a baby.

I ordered the injections and holy shit, they had a price tag of $1274. OMG, yes this has to work. So, now there is the financial, emotional and physical aspect of infertility. There I said it, infertility. I hate that title. I'm infertile, unable to make baby, not fertile.... whatever you want to call it.

Have I mentioned my fear of needles? They make me weak just thinking about them. I had to inject every night until IUI.

My hubby, Aaron, did all the shots. This was a very comical time in our house. He would chase me around the house to give me the shot while I would stall and cry like a big baby.

When he finally gave me the shot, it wasn't that bad, but we still went through the same thing every night. I was scared. Me = Baby.

Our first round of injections was a fail.... I was heartbroken, why isn't this working? Is this karma for something I did in my past? Why me? I don't understand.

I went back to the RE after the cycle failed and was told I had to take a break for the month because I had left over follies and I could not stim again for the risk of cyst.

So March I had a break. April back on injections, same thing... nothing... May break... June back on injections..... Nothing... July Break.... August back on injections.... BFN!

WTF? 4 cycles of injections and no pregnancy to show for it. It's so heatrbreaking. So much money, I have gained weight, and I feel like a failure as a woman. I couldn't do the one thing a woman should be able to do without out help. I cried many, many times.

I can say I am stronger than I thought I was. I have made it this far. Yes, it was hard, but I made it. I started doing injections myself. I did that. I can do this.

So here is our long, long break before...gulp...IVF. The wait from the last IUI to IVF seems like an eternity.

What do I do to help with the wait? I take cake decorating classes:)